I am Happy as a child to come back and write on the blog after a very long time.
So here I go…
For many years I bought into the lies of what my life, finances and living should be, would be and could be.
- Family comes first
- Abide by the rules set by you family and society
- Your prince charming would come on horseback and sweep you off your feet
- Marriage would bring in money, prosperity, abundance, jewelry, companionship, motherhood and the biggest lies of all – a sense of completeness
- A woman’s life is never complete without motherhood
- How much ever your might achieve spiritually, until and unless you experience marriage and motherhood, your life is incomplete
- Marry the man your family chooses if you would like to be showered with jewelry
- You cannot travel the world alone, its unsafe for a woman to do that
- How can you be ahead of your parents and older siblings?
- No marriage = no companionship
- No companion = a life of loneliness
- A life of loneliness = dying alone
All these interesting points of view kept me stuck all my life from being the potency and the power that I truly am. Even though I went ahead and began to explore possibilities with the being that I am and the skills I have, the jealousy my mother and older sister exhibited continued to pull me back. I kept rationalizing to myself that if I remained the subdued person (basically a doormat), they would be happy with me or continue to be a part of my life. I live in a city completely different to theirs and yet all these thoughts did not allow me to move an inch. I refused to change and create from the potency that I am as I feared creating beyond my wealthy sister. I even refused to step up and use my skills as one of my best friend whom I considered higher than me was not changing her reality with money. I kept telling myself that if she is unable to create money, then I don’t deserve to have it too.
I lost all I had in terms of money and jewelry. The tools I continue to use to this day were doing their work on me and yet I refused to make a choice that worked for me. I remained in the scarcity mindset to keep my mother and sister and friend happy. I was out there proving to them that they were beyond me in every way. This continued until I attended a 2 hour session a few days ago that broke the glass walls I had locked myself into. I walked out of the session knowing that I had changed…that these points of view have been destroyed.
Today, I choose to be complete. I choose to have a partner without marriage and I am willing to make a different choice if my prince charming does come by. I kept FITTING IN whereas I was meant to STAND OUT. I hid myself in the background and NOW I choose to be SEEN.
Will I ever be lonely? Are any of us truly alone?
My new home speaks to me. The crows I feed everyday, the pigeons who refuse to leave me along and fly from one room to another, the plants I water and send sweet kisses to, the innumerable people I see around me, the many times that the doorbell rings, the list is endless.
Every time someone chooses to walk out of my life, new people come into my life. What loneliness was I thinking about?
Very few people are privileged to die in a group. Most people die alone? What the hell then should I be scared of? I choose to let go of the lies that kept me in chains until now.
Today I make a different choice. Today I choose ME, the potent ME.
So, what story are you buying into as your LIFE?
pinkseadiving 