Since the year 2012 my quest to understand my own self, my purpose and my path began like never before. A never ending journey of seeking, there is this one aspect of it that stood out at every step.
Gratitude
Even today it has continued to remain an important aspect and I have like many others grappled with it for a long time. So what is Gratitude after all? Being thankful for everything that is, was and might be a part of your life. Every person I spoke to or sought answers from for the numerous questions that plagued my heart and mind, the one answer that each person gave me was to be in Gratitude. I read all I could on the subject: Books, blogs, facebook posts and websites. I began to listen to people talk about how to be in Gratitude and that brought me to writing my journal on expressing gratitude, I called people I was thankful for, I wrote personal messages to those I couldn’t speak to, I began expressing my gratitude to the food I was eating, to the flowers, to the weather lord and many other things. You name it and I have expressed my gratitude for it. I even expressed Gratitude to myself for the being that I am.
All these activities I did were done mechanically with no feeling or emotion. I thought that by doing it everyday I might someday just began to bring in some emotion into it. The practice got boring day after day and maintaining the activity became a burden to me. I would quickly lose interest in the activity and stop writing my journal or do the journal for the entire week on one day.
Life moved on and one day a very good friend of mine chose to walk out of my life. Her anger and hurt knew no bounds as I refused to be a doormat anymore for the world to walk on. An hour after she chose to end the relationship, she called in asking me to return some of her stuff that was with me. I was more than happy to return her things though what she said surprised me. A few days later she messaged me with a few more petty requests at which point I refused to oblige. Above all, her behavior was quite annoying.
The entire episode created some uneasiness in me and after having spent a few hours on it an awareness dawned on me that was quite a breakthrough for me. I realized that we humans have a tendency to cling on to and be attached to material things. Since we truly cannot own another human, we focus our attention on materialistic stuff. When a relationship breaks or people move apart, the first thing that they claim their rights on are the material things around them.
The pain and hurt is more about losing the other person, the relationship, beautiful moments spent together or honor and yet all we can salvage are the material things. That done people move on and at times cherish the moments spent together or choose to remain in blame, anger and hurt.
In my case a third person was informed about the closure of our relationship and this person stepped in to check how I was doing. I on my part expressed my gratitude about my friend being a part of my life and that the journey with her was a fantastic one. I also expressed my relief on the choice my friend had made.
Post this episode is when I have come to realize that Gratitude is when you are thankful from the depths of your heart be it for a fellow human being, an animal, nature, a place we call home, the things we use in our daily lives and for the experiences we go through in every moment. Express your Gratitude for the presence as well as the absence of people and things in your life. Wondering why I am talking about expressing Gratitude for something that is not a part of your life? Well, the absence of a material comfort or a person has us look at ourselves and our lives very differently. When I see people begging on the streets, I am in Gratitude for having a home and food to eat. When I hear of people die due to extreme weather I am grateful for living a comfortable life. The examples that I could talk about are endless. Absence of anything in our lives also allows us to create beyond it or something else in its place.
Gratitude is about the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. As I go about my life now, at every step I am grateful. I have come to realize that my life is a Gift and hence every breath I take, I am in gratitude for it.
What are your Grateful for today?
pinkseadiving 